The family that eats together, thrives together-at least that's what some researchers are concluding as they discover the wide-ranging benefits of the family dinner and set down a recipe for healthy child development.

Eating dinner with your kids on a nightly basis may be better for them than you think. Over the past few years, researchers in the US and the UK have compiled impressive support for maintaining the tradition, finding lower incidences of child obesity, better overall nutrition, stronger grades at school and more highly developed language skills among children who eat with their parents.

A recent survey by the National Center on Addiction and Abuse at Columbia University (www.casacolumbia.org) in New York revealed a lower risk of substance abuse for teens that eat with their parents daily. Teenagers who ate with their parents at least five to seven times a week showed decreased participation in smoking, drinking and marijuana use. Teens that ate with their parents from zero to two times a week were considered three times likelier to try marijuana, two and a half times likelier to try smoking, and one and a half times likelier to try alcohol.

So what's in a meal? More than just frequent urgings to eat Brussels sprouts and broccoli-according to Elizabeth Planet, project manager for strategic initiatives at the National Center on Addiction and Abuse.

"The family dinner is really a surrogate for parental engagement. A family that's getting together that frequently (five to seven times a week) is a family where the parents are very involved in the kids' lives."

Quality and quantity come to play in these meals. Says Planet:

"We know that the families that are having frequent dinners are likelier to turn the TV off than the families that are not getting together as frequently. They are more likely to turn the TV off and just focus and have conversation. The group having five to seven dinners a week, is likelier to spend more time at the table and they're likelier to say that there is a lot of talking."

The ritualized interaction of the family dinner provides one more opportunity for maintaining communication between parent and teenager-a daunting balancing act for both parties during the difficult teen years-and Planet is quick to point out the emotional benefits for teens. The teenagers in the frequent-dinners group consider one or both of their parents as the adult they would confide in if they had a problem. Teens eating less than two times a week identify another adult or claim there is no adult they feel they can talk to about a problem.

For Planet, these differences translate into real risk factors: "The connection, obviously for us, everything comes back to substance abuse risk. The kids who can confide in their parents have a much lower substance abuse risk than the kids who would go to another adult outside the family or who have no adult to confide in. Creating that open relationship gives your kids the opportunity to bring up any issues to you that they may be concerned about. So if there's drugs in their schools, they can tell you about it, you can address that."

The CASA survey also uncovered the surprising fact that the desire to spend more time together is strongest among teenagers and parents who eat together less than twice a week: Fifty percent of teens and 94 per cent of parents in the infrequent-dinners group claimed they wanted to eat together more often.

Erratic work hours and conflicting family timetables may make an evening meal impossible for these families so Planet encourages creativity and an open approach to spending time together.

"There's no magic to dinner per se, it's about the daily ritual of sitting down and talking and so if it has to be breakfast, it's breakfast. If it's sometimes dinner but sometimes it's just weekend activities, that's fine, too-whatever it takes...We try to encourage people to come up with whatever rituals they can to let their kids know 'I am always available to you at this hour. You always know you are going to see me and you can talk to me,' and it's always something reliable."



Tips from the National Center on Abuse and Addiction's Family Day website:(www.casafamilyday.org)

• Start the pattern of family dinners when children are young.
• Encourage your children to create menu ideas and participate in meal preparation.
• Turn off the TV and let your answering machine answer calls during dinnertime.
• Talk about what happened in everyone's day: school, work, extracurricular activities or current events.
• Establish a routine to start and end each meal. Light candles, say grace or tell a story.
• After dinner play a board game or serve dessert to encourage the family to continue the conversation.
• Keep conversation positive and make sure everyone gets a chance to speak.