Research shows that children who are able to form friendships early on in school are typically happier while in school and have an increased learning ability. Children can be taught friendship behaviours and this is typically done in daycare, preschool and kindergarten. These behaviours include talking with others, smiling, offering help, sharing and learning how to enter a game.

Developing and maintaining friendships, even at a young age, is a dynamic process. If your child started school late or didn’t attend daycare it may take them longer to learn friendship skills. At some point all children will experience rejection but you should not worry as most children will bounce back and move on to form positive relationships. Like many other skills developed early in school years building friendships and learning to deal with rejection will help later on in life.

Friendships at a young age are fickle. You may find that your child has a new “best friend” every week and it could be hard to keep track who their playmates are. As they grow and mature they will develop in their own self and will form truer more lasting friendships.

If you feel your child is having difficulty making friends there are a few things you can do to help. First remember that school is not the only place where children will make friends. If a teacher comments that your child is antisocial and lacks friends first see if they have developed friendships outside of school. It may be that their classmates don’t have common interests but they have made friends from sports teams or through other clubs and activities. The more social settings you provide for your child the more they will be able to develop their skills which build friendships.

Are you worried about your child starting at a new school? Try to stay positive and act excited as your child will read your tension and become nervous themselves making it more difficult to open up and make friends. If your child is starting out at a new school they may already be feeling intimidated by friendships already established. They may also be sad about leaving behind their old friends. It’s a much easier transition for your child if they start at the new school right at the beginning of the school year. That way everyone will be in a new class setting where new friendships are formed.

Playdates outside of school are another way to help your child build friendships and is great for kids starting at a new school or for kids who are going to school for the first time. It’s easier to bond with another child when there is one on one time without the distraction of schoolwork or schoolyard antics.

Try not to force friendships on your children. They will work them out on their own and it will help to develop other social skills that will benefit them later in life.