There may be a time in your adult life where you have to make a difficult decision regarding your parents or an elderly loved one. When your parents can no longer care for themselves, what do you do? Is it best to move them in with you and your family to care for them yourself, or will they benefit more by being moved into a full care facility?
A lot of times your elderly relative will claim that they can care for themselves and don’t need to be moved or helped in any way. It’s hard for someone who has cared for themselves and others all their lives to admit that they need help and can’t do it anymore on their own. If your loved one can still live on their own but they need help in certain areas there are options for that as well. There are many things to consider when an elderly person lives alone. Are they able to cook for themselves safely and are they getting the proper nutrition they need? Can they bathe on their own or is there a concern with falling? What about memory loss? Is there a risk over leaving the oven on or the taps running?
If your concerns can be managed with regular visits by a home care nurse, visits from you or even other elderly companions who can combat loneliness, then it may be possible for your parent to stay in their own home. Have a good look around their home and access their needs. Their Doctor can also come to the home to assess their needs and make suggestions for home alterations. Changes may need to be done to the bathroom, kitchen and entrance way to make the home safer. If you’re loved one is able to remain at home take steps to make it easier for them. Have emergency numbers handy and make sure some nearby has contact with your parent in case they need immediate attention. Also make sure that they have regular visitors, even if it is just to have someone to talk to.
If the Doctor’s assessment proves that your family member can no longer live on their own a more difficult decision needs to be made. It will be easier on you, you family and your elderly parent if you don’t leave it till the last minute. Don’t wait until you have to make a decision because you’ll have fewer choices of care home and may not be happy with where your loved one ends up. It’s also important to not make the decision on your own. Call a family meeting and discuss the issue with siblings or other key members of the family. Ensure you discuss all the details including care needed, costs involved and the best facility to extend their life.

Moving a loved one into your home may seem like the best option but consider all factors before you decide on this option. Similar to an elderly person staying in their own home, alterations may need to be done to your home to make the house more accessible. Although you may save money by not paying for a nursing home, home renovations can be costly. Consider the time involved in caring for a loved one. It is a full time job and very difficult to fit into a busy schedule. You may have to leave your job or put your career on hold. Also consider how it will affect your immediate family. It is difficult for children to see the day to day deterioration of their grandparents.
When it comes to our parents, who cared for us for many years, it’s hard to imagine moving them into a nursing home to have someone else care for them. You may experience feelings of guilt or that you’re abandoning them but that is not the case. Their care is paramount and the care they will receive in a full time care facility will be more than what you can offer. Nursing homes have come a long way and are no longer a place to send the elderly to die, they are welcoming homes where your parent can live. Not only do they offer in house activities and socialization, many care homes include days out and trips to the store which can bring independence back to your family member. When choosing a nursing home do a lot of research before you make a decision. Ask for referrals from friends and work colleagues and visit all the homes on your list. Go prepared and have a list of questions for the nursing staff or the homes management team. Make a short list of the most suitable homes and visit them more than once. Try and visit at different times of the day so you see what the care is like throughout the day. By giving you and your family enough time to research the best home for your loved one, you will help ease their stress and worry of moving and can improve their lifestyle and increase their lifespan.