Difficult Teens

It may seem like your teen isn’t listening or tunes you out when you are talking. The worst thing to do in this situation is to stop communicating. They are listening even if you’re not getting the reaction you expect. Keep talking, stay honest and keep natural. Don’t have an agenda because they will see right through you and close off even more. Believe in who they are and not what they accomplish. Find out their interests and talk with them about these things. Work out ways to emphasize their successes even if it’s not on what you find important like math or science. If they are great a guitar, support them and encourage them. Show your teen how proud of them you are. If an argument erupts both of you need to take a time out. Go your separate ways until you have calmed down and can talk civilly. Shouting will get you nowhere.

All Teens

Whether your teen is good, bad or indifferent take time to do what they enjoy doing. When you spend time with your teen focus on them and don’t rush things. Give them all your attention for as long as they need it. Do not embarrass them. It is not funny for your teen when you do something embarrassing in front of their peers. Remember what it was like when you were that age and your parents acted oddly. Behave appropriately around their friends and your teen will be more willing to include you in their lives. Make sure to set boundaries on their behaviour but explain why the rules are there. You and your rules will be respected more if you are honest about your concerns and why you’re setting rules. Respect their opinions. Your teen is a young adult and will soon be out on their own making decisions. If you allow them to make decisions around the house they will gain confidence and be more able to face challenges in the real world. Always be empathetic to their predicaments. It may seem like nothing to you but to them it will be a huge deal that’s causing stress and worry. Ask open ended questions and listen without interruption. Show you care. Avoid questions that will be answered by a yes or a no because that’s all you’ll get.

The Sex Talk

Be open with your teen about sex but realise their comfort level. Bring up the topic but if they aren’t ready to talk to you let them know that it’s okay and you can talk when they are ready. Pick up leaflets from your doctor and leave them for your teen to read in their own time. Don’t pressure them to discuss the issues, just give them the tools to learn and make the right decision. If your teen isn’t comfortable talking to you about sex, ask if there is someone they would feel comfortable talking to. Don’t be offended and try to facilitate the talk with whomever they wish to talk to. Offer to take them to their doctor or a clinic where they can discuss things confidentially and in privacy. Instil confidence in your teen so they will have the power to make their own decisions and not be pressured. It may be as simple as telling your girls that they are beautiful and your boys that they are intelligent.