Our differences can actually be the key to a strong long-term marriage we are aiming for. After some time the man may want more independent activities, like going out with his friends. The woman on the other hand may want more contact with girlfriends.

"The greatest of all faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none."-Thomas Carlyle

What’s the impact of this on marriage you may ask? Well, one of the main reasons we pick at each other is our conflicting attitude towards marital independence. Nature keeps moving forward in the life cycle. Change is the only permanent thing in this world. As you count the years, you’ll eventually discover each other’s strengths and weaknesses. It is a step-by-step process. It can’t be done in a night or two.

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”…Katharine Hepburn

These differences can even lead us in a better direction. It may even cause us to make better decisions along the way. Don’t think of your differences as an obstacle to be happy. It can be have positive synergy effect on your lives.

You and your spouse are a squad. You are partners. This partnership has two sides. Either you let this help you live a more fulfilled life, or treat your spouse like he or she is your competitor.

Is it cooperation or competition that will bring you the most success in your marriage? The answer is quite obvious. But are you practicing cooperation in your marriage from the very start?

You should work together to achieve a mutually beneficial outcome. Marriage is a partnership and not just two people living in the same roof.

Tips on how to know that cooperation is present in your household

1. Discuss all major purchases. Agreed on what to buy with your money.
2. Agree on what you will and won’t buy and where you will invest the money.
3. Focus on each other’s strengths not on each other’s weaknesses.
4. Point out the things you need to improve in your life. Ask his or her opinion.
5. Don’t try to change your spouse’s mind to your way of thinking. Assess yourself if you are willing to change your mind. Giving in once in a while is healthy.
6. Agree on how you will raise your children. Include discipline, allowance, curfew, education, religion, dress, friends and chores.
7. Write plans for the future. Discuss it together.
8. Always look for ways to improve yourself and your marriage
9. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Reserve judgment until you get all of the facts.
10. Try to understand what is the motive behind, if your spouse offends or hurts you. Don’t get mad in an instant.

Treat your relationship like a cooperative partnership. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together.